MARK SMITH MORE COLUMNS Advertisement

I am getting really revved up to toss in my idea for a Pahrump 'brand' and count a cool $500.

It can't be that difficult.

We've got so much to choose from.

How about "Where brothels still flourish"? Can't you just see the billboards? I want the photography contract...

OK, how about "Pahrump: Gateway to Beatty"?

Now here's an idea: "Pahrump: Almost Amargosa Valley."

One suggestion has been "Pahrump: Prison, Prostitutes and Protestors -- We've got'em, you don't."

Another is "Pahrump: Valley of Contention."

What we could do, of course, is the obvious and make Death Valley, to which we are by far the nearest sizable community, our "brand."

But that would be too easy, and worse yet, it would be promoting a place in California. "OMG," as they say online.

Actually, I drove down to Baker, Calif., Sunday to see whether it really makes a point of being the "Gateway to Death Valley."

The short answer is brief enough: No, it doesn't, at least as far as I could see.

What I saw was a ton of weekend visitors returning to Barstow and points south from Las Vegas, and it occurred to me that if Baker really wants a brand, it should bill itself as "Gateway to Sin City."

Now I've driven down to Baker reasonably often, and one thing I have never seen is a stream of traffic between that town and Furnace Creek, and I'm betting the folks in Shoshone would back me up on that.

In fact, the sense I get is that most visitors to Death Valley show up through Pahrump. And why not?

Most of them are already in Vegas anyway, and Death Valley is just two hours west of there on a straight line right through here. (Really, the idea that people are going to drive south on the 15 just to turn right at Baker to backtrack to Death Valley makes no sense.) Ask anyone at Albertson's about the flow of buses that stop for snacks and cold drinks, or the reason there are directions to the "W.C." at the Horizon Market convenience store at Leslie and Bell Vista.

When the visitors stop at Badwater or Golden Canyon, they seldom continue south but, instead, turn around for Furnace Creek or Stovepipe Wells.

No offense to Beatty, but how many drivers swarm south from Tonopah to visit Death Valley, or drive to Beatty from Vegas just so they can turn around by 180 degrees to get back to Furnace Creek? If they're coming from Reno, they're probably staying on Route 395.

Williams, Ariz., said Pahrump Tourism and Convention Council member Tim Lockinger, "has the Grand Canyon."

Yes, it sure does, and so far you could say the same thing about Pahrump. The Grand Canyon seems to have better publicity here than our next door neighbor, Death Valley manages.

What actually seems to be happening is an effort to establish a brand that won't cost anything. (How about "Pahrump: Too cheap by far"?)

If we were to call it "Town of Festivals," then no one would have to lift a finger and we could just make the events we enjoy anyway part of the brand. In other words, instead of having to create anything new, we could just change "Cinco de Mayo" to "Cinco de Mayo -- the Valley of Festivals" and leave it at that.

You get the idea. No muss, no fuss.

That appears to be the case already, in ways that may be penny wise but pound foolish.

The museum, for example, is conveniently located a mile and a half off the main drag. Now I know, the land was arranged at a heck of a deal, but try to think about this:

How many visitors do you imagine see a sign to the museum that directs them off along Basin Avenue and leap at the chance when they're trying to get to Death Valley?

It's a good little museum with some really interesting material available, but if I were spinning through town on my way to the national park, I don't think I'd give it a second glance. I might think, "Maybe on the way back," and then forget about it.

I know all this sounds as if I'm suggesting we throw some serious money at making Death Valley the town's brand, and I suppose I am. Maybe not right now, in this economy, but perhaps in the future, after we've taken the time to think and come to some conclusions for when things start looking up.

The long-term alternative is a brand that means next to nothing or maybe one that is all too accurate:

"Pahrump: Doesn't know what it wants."