MARK SMITH MORE COLUMNS Advertisement

My publisher is too kind.

Marie Wujek spoke strongly about the screw-is-loose ordinance involving Pahrump Valley Disposal last week and made the point that it doesn't affect her.

Well, it does affect others right here in the office -- those of us who very carefully and with dedication make sure our trash goes into the dumpster out back.

No, not our office trash, our own personal, household trash. The trash the Pahrump Town Board is so worked up about that the members who voted for PTO 43 can't even take the time to explain themselves.

Why am I reminded of three monkeys with their hands over their ears, mouths and eyes? Why am I convinced that even the creationists among us will see the error of their ways and come out foursquare for evolution after this silliness?

Our trash goes right into the receptacle that is picked up not once but twice weekly by, you guessed it, Pahrump Valley Disposal.

It's not going out into the desert, it's not being dropped out in the parking lot at Cathedral Canyon or onto the roadside toward Shoshone. It's being picked up by Pahrump Valley Disposal itself and taken to the landfill for proper disposal.

But that's not good enough for our town fathers that we wish we could keep up in the attic so we don't have to admit they're ours.

Lenin would have accused them of "bureaucratism," the tendency for bureaucracies to further their own interests instead of looking after the interests of the people for whom they're supposed to work. The board wants paper-shuffling, and it's going to get it, and either the town or Pahrump Valley Disposal will have to generate even more paperwork to deal with the non-compliant residents.

What about those who go away for a couple of weeks or more on vacation?

What about those who are disabled and have a neighbor take their trash for them?

Oh, and what about those of us who use the dumpster at work?

The proverbial devil, as they say, is in the proverbial details, and in PTO 43 the town board has generated a whole batch of the little imps, mainly by not thinking, or at least not waiting to hear what the townspeople had to say about the whole bit.

One has to step back and wonder, "Town board, do you really want to do this?"

Yes, towns do have functions that need to be handled with some care, and not many towns have multiple water or sewage companies, just as one electric company generally services a broad area.

But the landfill is public. Anyone can drive up and answer a couple of questions and gain admittance. (They apparently haven't thought of tipping fees yet, but that may be just a matter of time, considering the route the board is taking now. They get you in your property taxes and then they add a mandatory charge for a private company, so it's not like the members are suddenly going to gasp, "Oh, my gosh, we're ripping off the residents")

The town board, if it's able to read, needs to remind itself how stupid the so-called "English-only" ordinance was, and the very good reasons it was tossed out so quickly. Then it needs to look closely in the mirror and see the expected reflection.

That's right, ladies and gentlemen -- that's you staring back. Dumb as a post and with the thoughtfulness of a walnut.

* * *

I suppose it's time to reiterate the rules and guidelines that go with letters to the editor.

First, they have to be signed with a full name. Not one initial and a last name -- a full name. They will not be published with "name withheld." You sign it or it goes into the trash.

(If you send us what appears to be a letter but is only for our information, please say so clearly so that we won't waste time trying to call you back.)

Second, you must include a daytime phone number that you will answer.

There are times when we get a letter than strikes us as peculiar in some way, and we want to be able to confirm that you sent it and want it printed. It doesn't happen often, but letters have been sent that were not written by the person who is alleged to have signed them.

Third, we're not going to write your letters for you. They are your letters, not ours. We'll correct them to the greatest extent, but in the end the words need to be yours.

Fourth, as I said, "the words need to be yours."

Do not copy out a heartfelt poem or story from the Ottumwa (Iowa) Cornburner and ask us to print it. It is probably copyrighted, and I don't feel like going to court to explain why we never gave reporter so-and-so proper credit.

We're also not going to publish material that is libelous. I don't want to go to court, and I don't want you to, either.

Fifth, we do look at what you write, and if and when I see something that is simply incorrect, I'm going to respond to it. Opinion is one thing, facts are another, and I don't want the twain to intertwine.