DAN SIMMONS Sportsman's Quest MORE COLUMNS Advertisement

Many of this column's readers have been asking about my fishing partner "Ol' Seldom" and have wondered about his absence in this past year's stories. Well, he's back.

Ol' Seldom has just returned from distant and isolated lands pursuing our finned friends, with much success. We'll be hearing of his exploits in future columns.

For our new readers it may be necessary to reintroduce this fine fellow. He is a master fisherman and storyteller. His stories are always true, but as he says, "It's not always necessary to let the facts get in the way of a good story." He seldom lets this happen, hence his name.

It is rumored that he seldom bathes and this may be the case, but he claims it's in the name of water conservation and to prevent rust. This isn't bothersome as long as we're in his open-topped jeep, or not stuck with him in an elevator.

He is certainly an honest and ethical gentleman; after all it's hard to have a partner that would lie, cheat or steal (poaching includes all these traits).

Now some might say, Ol' Seldom is an exception here, but he doesn't really lie -- you see, he's a fisherman and that must be taken into account. He really doesn't cheat either; he just gets confused when pegging the cribbage board or playing cards. But, his friends all realize this and take it into consideration. As far as stealing ... never.

Friends always "borrow" from each other, and it's not always convenient to ask. It's true he seldom returns things, but they eventually find their way home. Why just the other day I found a couple of my favorite lures in his tackle box, mixed in with his old Super Doopers and Bombers, and he returned them.

This is understandable since he seldom cleans or organizes his tackle box and seldom puts new line on his reel, but Ol' Seldom is a fine fellow, my friend and partner.

We do travel together and seldom take his truck, but I'm flattered that he thinks I'm a better driver than he is in rough country. Around camp he is an excellent companion; he once even prepared dinner. I was in fact sick for a couple of days after his effort, so it's okay that he seldom takes on the chore of camp cook. He's my friend and I'm honored that he also likes my cooking.

There are other things he seldom does, and those are miss a striking fish, not know exactly where the biggest one is lying behind a rock, or downed tree. Seldom does he not have the exact bait, lure or fly for the occasion. Ol' Seldom is a master fisherman and my hero.

He is also a family man with three sons, with whom he seldom misses a chance to go fishing, and a wonderful wife of 40 years, Blondie, who is accomplished in the kitchen and home. She is also a pillar of patience -- any wonder. True she seldom sees him, as he is usually off fishing, but perhaps that's the reason for their long marital bliss.

I'm looking forward to hearing of Ol' Seldom's adventures, tales and activities. Perhaps he'll also let us in on some of his secret fishing spots. We all have something to look forward to. I'm also looking forward to some of Blondie's fine cooking. Welcome back, friends.

What's new

My friend Ol' Seldom being the accomplished hunter, fisherman and gatherer that he is, ends each season with his 12-foot freezer full to the top. He, like some of us, (I've been guilty), finds mystery meat at the bottom the following season.

It just seems some of those labels come off, or the marker ink fades. That makes it difficult to determine just what it is or the date it was harvested.

Ol' Seldom has solved this problem with a powerful meat grinder from Chef's Choice. It's new to the market and with over 1,000 watts of peak power in its compact design, this grinder could probably do a whole buffalo just by sticking its tail in the feeder tube and turning on the motor.

Ol' Seldom has taken it one step further: He has a secret recipe for multiple species of game. He just mixes all of those packages of deer, elk, moose, and bear together. It makes a good sausage or chili too, and in all our years as partners, I've only felt a bit unusual a couple of times, and then I lost weight.

So, if you have a serious grinding job ahead of you, this is the serious machine to do it. Blondie uses it for smaller jobs and even says it looks nice sitting on her kitchen counter.

Chef's Choice 750 Professional Meat Grinder -- Incredibly powerful -- extremely quiet -- all metal construction. This is the machine.

For more information go to www.chefschoice.com or call 1-800-342-3255.

Events

*Fraternity of the Desert Bighorns banquet is July 12, at South Point Hotel & Casino. Doors open at 5 p.m. with dinner at 7 p.m.. The auction will start at 7:30 p.m. For more information visit www.desertbighorn.com or call Paul Harris at 702- 596-6849

*ICAST, International Convention of Allied Sportfishing Trades, will hold Follow your Instincts, the world's largest sport fishing tradeshow, July 16 - 18 at the Las Vegas Convention center.

Recipe of week

This is one of Ol' Seldom's standard meals, breakfast, lunch or dinner. He prefers it topped with cheese, tomatoes, lettuce, pickles and lots of ketchup, mustard and mayonnaise. Sometimes he even adds his homemade chili. After about two bites, he's wearing it as it drips on his shirt, lap and shoes. I've seen him enjoy this delight three or four times a day followed by his favorite beverage.

I'll take mine just as Blondie makes it, and share one of those beverages.

Blondie's Best Burger

One pound freshly ground beef (or any ground meat); 3 shallots, peeled and finely chopped; 2 tsp prepared horseradish; 2 tbsp flat leaf parsley, chopped; salt and pepper to taste; 4 fresh ciabatta rolls, split and toasted; fresh butter lettuce, pickled red onions, roasted peppers, and garlic aioli (mayonnaise).

Combine beef, shallots, horseradish, parsley, salt and pepper; form into four equal burgers, grill over medium heat 5 - 7 minutes per side flipping once; split buns toast on grill, spread with aioli while still warm; top with remaining ingredients and enjoy.

--

If you have an adventure, a story or a comment give me a call (775) 727-9777 or e-mail me at dansimmons@usa.net. The Sportsman's Quest television program appears on Channel 41 each Saturday at 9 a,m, (Spanish), and 10:30 a.m. (English).