MICKI BARE Advertisement

There are trace amounts of various prescription and over-the-counter drugs in municipal water systems across the country and throughout the world. Thanks to an Associated Press review and report of drug seepage, fuel has been added to the heated debate over whether this presence in drinking water will be harmful to humans over time.

And while folks are debating safety, I'd like to point out the economic impact of such allegations. If the drugs we ingest are not fully absorbed into our systems, leaving about 10 percent to be flushed away at the end of the day, we are simply not getting our money's worth.

In consideration of the high price of medications, we are flushing what amounts to car payments, mortgages and even college educations right down into the public sewer systems. It is an unfortunate waste of resources.

Pharmaceutical companies have some nerve charging sick people for drugs that cannot be fully absorbed before their bodies expel them as waste. We should only have to pay for the percentage that our bodies actually absorb. We should only have to buy the part of the pill that is actually going to make us feel better.

Next time I pick up a prescription, I may just pull out the tissue-paper insert printed with teeny font, look up the absorption rate and ask for a discount based on the percentage that is going to end up in the toilet.

For all the pills and concoctions for which we've already paid full price, ingested and expelled, refunds would be an excellent gesture on the part of the big pharmaceutical companies. Refunds could be calculated using average non-absorption rates multiplied by the amount of money spent on that drug.

Of course, the consumer would have to provide documentation, such as receipts, before being eligible for a refund. Pack rats like me could really boost the economy with all the money we'd get back.

The money issue is just the tip of the giant floating chunk of mountain-shaped ice. There is the impact to the tourism industry that must also be addressed. Whenever friends decide to vacation in Central America, we all respond with, "Don't drink the water!"

But now, with all the parts per billion or trillion of acetaminophen, sildenafil, atorvastatin calcium, alprazolam and other drugs coursing through the veins of our city utility frameworks, what will others around the world say to their friends?

"Oh, you're headed to the United States, are you? Well, don't drink the water unless you have a headache, feel depressed or your cholesterol spikes."

Not that one glass of water will have any kind of medicinal effect. It would take lots and lots of water to ingest enough of the trace drugs to do harm. You'd probably have to drink at least eight glasses a day, every day, for years before the parts per billion could build up enough in your system to make a difference.

Now that this pertinent water contamination issue has been brought out into the open, surely there will be lots of new studies commissioned to determine whether or not drug-tainted tap water, or any water for that matter, is safe for human consumption over time.

Meanwhile, inventors are heading into their labs to create filtration systems that will remove trace amounts of a broad spectrum of man-made drugs.

While we are waiting for studies to be published and filters to be developed, maybe there are other uses for water that we can tap into while the trace amounts of drugs are still present.

I've tried everything to get red clay stains out of my children's sports uniforms. Even when they play on a team that wears a gray uniform, a few weeks into the season there are always dingy orange areas that I cannot remove. Suggesting they don't slide into second on a steal gets me nothing but scowls and eye rolls.

Maybe simply soaking the dingy uniforms for a few hours in water enhanced with a combination of chlorine, fluoride and pharmaceuticals will do the trick.

Scrubbing a bathroom used by teenaged boys becomes rather cumbersome, as well. Maybe spraying it down with water and then wiping away the residue would work better than using the foaming sprays that require gloves and a mask to administer.

And you just never know. After lots of scientific research and study, maybe the final result of having trace amounts of drugs in the water supply will be a generation of happy, healthy people with low cholesterol and high libidos.

Micki Bare is a columnist for the Arkansas News Bureau and the Courier-Tribune in Asheboro, N.C., and author of the book, "Relative Expressions." She lives in Asheboro with her husband and three children. Her e-mail address is mickibare@inspiredscribe.com.