TERRI SCHLICHENMEYER The Bookworm Sez Advertisement

What's your idea of the perfect vacation?

Is it being pampered on a cruise, with everything at your fingertips? Or maybe a week with a zero-balance credit card, preferably someone else's? A leisure appointment with a tent? Or how about quiet time on a hammock with a cold one nearby and a book on your lap?

In the new novel "Tan Lines" by J.J. Salem, three women rent a house in the Hamptons for a little summertime girl-bonding. But their three-month vacation blow-out is about to blow up.

Fay Hudson loved being in Paris. The $50,000 she got for leasing out her East Hampton house always gave her plenty for a summer away. She usually didn't remember renters from year to year, but this time was different...

When rock star Billie Shelton's first CD was released, her concerts sold out and fans couldn't get enough. But it'd been awhile since the last hit and Billie needed a new song, because her money was running out, and so was her agent's patience.

When Billie's friend, Liza, suggested a summer away, Billie thought a vacation might help her write. Besides, a girl could find trouble just as easily on the beach as anywhere else, right?

Liza Pike prided herself on being a fashionista feminist. Liza was beautiful, smart, and her regular stint on CNBC's the Roundtable made her famous. It didn't hurt that her co-star, March Donaldson, and host Tom Shapiro were fun to be around.

But being at home was no fun at all. Six years ago, Liza married a man she barely knew, and she suspected Justin was now cheating on her. It didn't matter, though -- she didn't love him anymore anyhow.

Alabama stunner Kellyanne Downey figured a summer in the Hamptons was a perfect way to get some relief from Walter, the sugar daddy who was paying her way through life. Walter funded everything from her car to her career, but Kellyanne was sick of him.

Leaping at a chance at stardom, she signed up to be on a reality show but the reality was that she was taken advantage of -- again.

Fay Hudson rarely remembers the renters who move in and out of her East Hamptons house each summer, but she can't forget these three. They're as stained in her mind as the floors in her house are stained with blood.

According to his Web site, author J.J. Salem has been a big Jackie Collins fan since he was a teen. With this book, he's inevitably going to be compared to his idol.

That's too bad. He's actually better.

"Tan Lines" is trashy, raucous and way too much fun. Salem's characters are a little over-the-top but not so much that you can't imagine their names screeching from the tabloids if they were real. I especially liked the way he wrapped up the ending of this book, and I can't wait for his next one.

Grab a beach towel, slather on the sunscreen, and grab "Tan Lines." Miss this novel and you'll burn for weeks.

"Tan Lines" by J.J. Salem, St. Martin's Press, $24.95, 306 pages.