MARSHA GOLDSTEIN Life Matters Advertisement

Watching, listening or reading news reports can be very difficult these days.

Reports of crimes, war death tolls and children dying from lack of care or malnutrition, don't give one a boost to surge into the day. In fact, some people switch stations, put down the paper, or turn off their radios before the reports end.

Some have even stopped obtaining news outside of their own life because the outside world has become just too painful for them to bear. They feel that they can't do anything about these things so why even know about them.

Unfortunately, by doing this they also miss out on some good news -- heartwarming news that will feed the soul. People helping other people usually come at the end of a news report or further into the paper. The return of money to its rightful owner, going into a burning building to save a life, and a breakthrough in research of a disease rarely makes headlines or breaking news.

So, how does one face the day in a positive cheerful mood?

One way is to smile. More times than not, when you smile at someone a smile will be returned. A smile is communication and acknowledgement of your being and it fills one with hope.

Ever smile at a baby? Do so and you will see the baby's face light up and break into smile or even laughter. It's contagious.

How about the friends you left behind when you moved to Pahrump? Do you communicate with them? Or, do you sulk and say it's not the same anymore? Hopefully, you don't. Make the phone call, email, or actually write a note. Take the 10 minutes the communication requires and enjoy hearing a friendly warm voice while enjoying your morning coffee and your day will have a positive jump start.

There are two words that, when used, will keep you in the positive cheerful column: "Thank you." Everyone wants to be thanked; everyone wants to be acknowledged for their work or kindness. Thank the person who holds a door for you. Look at the person, smile, and say thank you.

Your acknowledgment of the deed will fill the person and come back to you ten-fold.

Thank your spouse for doing something around the house that wasn't really expected, however, was very appreciated. Do the same with your children. Thank them for bringing you your reading glasses that you left in another room. Let them hear the words and they will use them.

Another way to boost your mood and outlook is to give a compliment. Many people withhold complimenting others because they believe it takes away from their importance.

It doesn't.

It actually adds to your well-being as you are giving to another in a positive way. Of course, the compliments need to be sincere and from the heart. Complimenting a co-worker on a great presentation, a friend on a terrific outfit, or a relative on a successful diet plan, brings us closer to the person. Connecting with others in a sincere caring way has been said to be a deterrent to depressed feelings.

We all have watched quiz shows on television or have entered contests sometime in our life. We want to win the car, the new house or the cash. We all want to win the megabucks at our local casino. Some people do win and some don't. Acquiring the ability to be happy for someone else adds to the happiness in your own life.

Be happy if your friend gets the promotion he or she has been after for a while, even if you haven't progressed in your own career. Be happy for a friend if he or she has found someone special in their life, even if your current relationship has gone sour.

The ability to be happy for someone else wards off depressive feelings and bitterness. Remember, we are responsible for our own lives and our own happiness.

Thinking that someone else has the responsibility for these tasks is a huge mistake. Others may be the icing on the cake and even the cherry on top of the cake. However, you are the cake that can be packaged just as you are.

Abraham Lincoln summed it up nicely by saying, "Most people are about as happy as they make up their minds to be," I vote for happy.

Marsha Goldstein, L.C.S.W., BCD, is a licensed clinical social worker, board certified diplomate in private practice here in Pahrump. She can be reached at 775-751-9579).