BUZZ SODEMAN MORE COLUMNS HORACE LANGFORD JR. / PVT Close-quarter racing on a dry-slick track kept things interesting at times Saturday night at the Pahrump Valley Speedway, where another Saturday speedsports program is slated. Advertisement

Perhaps the best way to describe the action at the Pahrump Valley Speedway this past Saturday evening is to quote one of the comics, "Zits," which ran in Sunday's Las Vegas Review-Journal.

This particular comic was devoted to Father's Day and was sub-titled, "Live Life Like a Teenager," and contained 10 suggestions to accomplish this feat.

Number 2 on the list was, "Sleep whenever and wherever possible."

Number 5 was "Be passionate."

Number 6 was "See humor everywhere."

Number 7 was "Eat the junk that tastes good."

Number 9 was "Talk to your friends deep into the night."

Choose one of those topics and you've probably helped me describe the action both on and off the track.

I'm kind of leaning toward number 6, and that's how I'll develop this reaction to the races.

Let's start with the abysmal car count, heat that would make M&M's melt in your hands and pockets, a wind that changed as many directions as race leaders on the track, and the dust from frequent visits to the infield that obliterated action in the bomber feature.

I'm thoroughly convinced that it isn't the racing that brings spectators to the speed plant on Panorama. It's the funnel cakes with enough grease to lubricate the digestive tract for a month, and the nachos that stay with you for days.

It's the beer being consumed like lemonade while being baked by some lake in the Midwest. It's the camaraderie of family, friends and fans.

It certainly wasn't the races that at times resembled a Chinese fire drill. Here is an encapsulation of the action or lack of on the quarter-mile surface that quickly dried out to "dry slick."

The Pro-4's continue to struggle despite the efforts of the Littles to recruit new blood or fodder for their dominance of the division. Terri Little, the present First Lady of PV Speedway, easily won the feature, made easier when her husband, Corey, exited with a flat right rear tire.

Mike Gray, driving what is believed to be one of the Littles' back-up cars, kind of vanished. He was running third and all but the trained eye caught his stealth-like exit to the pits. That left Mike Smith trying unsuccessfully to reel in the distant rear end of T. Little.

In one of the more bizarre finishes to a heat race, I found myself checking to see if a full moon had suddenly appeared on the horizon. C. Little, holding off a charge from T. Little, spun out on the last lap, bringing out a yellow.

For some reason, during the yellow flag laps, the Littles decided that the race had ended and departed for the pits. After being informed that the race was not over they quickly came back out on the track and were placed at the rear of the field per the rules, shades of Mark Martin flashed before the eyes of all the old timers in the turn four bleachers. Smith took advantage and claimed the heat race.

Terry Hiser, perhaps the Queen of PV Speedway, had only one serious challenger and that was Michael Brown in the mini main event and even he couldn't cope, with the grandmother turned racer. Brown, sporting the new sponsorship of the Pahrump Valley Times, closed the gap through the turns but Hiser had the advantage on the front and backstretches. Rounding out the top five were Jonathan Burch, Brandon Madan and Kelby Coultas.

It was the minis that looked like they were auditioning for roles on "Last Comic Standing," with three-wide racing and in some cases, the four-cylinders of fury were barely hitting on two or three. Richard Weseman even had one of those industrial-sized tires in the turns jump out and bite his car for no reason and this was obviously after Weseman forgot to feed the gerbils under his hood, judging by all the sputtering and missing. Heat winners were Burch and Madan.

During the heat race that Burch won, I had written a comment in my notebook that he has shown improvement of late, especially in the performance of his race car. That was until he was a disappointing third in the feature when he had a hard time negotiating his way past Weseman.

Relief announcer Ray Elam summed up the super stock feature when he recalled an old Midwest racing term, "stinkin' up the show."

He was referring to Dan Snowden's utter dominance of the race. Not even the synchronized spin by three of the racers and subsequent yellow deterred the determined Snowden.

It was a matter of who would be second and that wasn't decided until the next to last lap when Corey Simoneau got passed by Dale Daffern.

Ron Moffatt lasted a few more laps than Peanut Gott and was probably awarded fourth despite the DNF. The infrequent, but always popular and entertaining Gott was also a DNF but surely was fifth.

It's amazing that Gott was even able to compete in the feature after a head on crash with Stacey Stinson. Stinson arrived with a for sale sign on his race car; the price was $1,500. Today, the blue light special is hovering around $500 as he shortened the wheelbase of the Camaro considerably.

Gott had spun exiting turn two; he was sitting facing the opposite direction when Stinson nailed him. In a display of sportsmanship, Stinson took parts off his car to help Gott get into the main event.

The always-entertaining bombers didn't disappoint. From the tossing of autographed T-shirts into the crowd to the wall banging they really put on what was an abbreviated 40-lap feature.

Steven Creech, driving the proverbial Hot Rod Lincoln, tested the turn four wall and discovered that even the big Lincoln was no match for the concrete. The damage inflicted was without a doubt the worst that any bomber has sustained this season.

Meanwhile the ensuing Enduro turned Demolition Derby was brewing a tempest between Wade Pearson and J.J. Nunn that ended abruptly when a flat tire put Nunn in the pits.

Pearson was chased to the checkered flag by Fred Harding, Jim Sherard and Harold Sherard.

I must have fallen asleep during heat two, a race that was comparable to watching concrete cure, because all I have is the No. 4 winning it and I have no idea who the driver was.

Pearson won the first feature was actually was round one of the bombers' edition of the Demolition Derby scheduled for July.

As I quickly exited the track, it was a merry band of drunken, bloated and wind-blown spectators who headed toward the exit. I successfully and gratefully beat the bleary-eyed "I'm headed for the Pahrump pokey with a DUI bunch."

It just goes to show you that car count doesn't always equate to having fun. I would like to congratulate the drivers for putting on an entertaining night and apologize if I offended anyone.