MARK SMITH MORE COLUMNS Advertisement

Sometimes, when even events here in Pahrump veer abruptly into what one author would have called Cloud Cuckoo Land, you have to step back and try to get a grip on the question of consistency, or the lack thereof.

Now the county commission is going to grapple with the question of the Adult Superstore, whose eye-shattering name is visible halfway across town. In other words, not only is it a legal establishment but one that has every ability and willingness to broadcast its message in the open air.

The commission is going to, in the words of the ordinance, worry about protecting "the morals of patrons of such establishments."

Morals indeed.

Now I am guessing that many, if not most, inhabitants of this valley would be willing to assume the patrons of such businesses have no morals, or at best very few. Or at least that the average Joe or Jill visiting the Superstore would not take a public stand on the business' moral aspect.

And I'm further willing to bet that much, if not most, of the Superstore's business stems directly from those same Joes and Jills who would not for one minute admit to patronizing such a place in any way, shape or form that might involve publicity.

The question of their morals reminds me of a conversation I had about 10 years ago, back in conservative, rural New Hampshire, with the owner of a video joint. I asked him how much of his business involved the closed, adult section.

He floored me, explaining that was by far the most visited portion of the store and brought in well over half his business. It was visited by men, by women, by men and women, by women and women, you name it.

The idea that the "morals of patrons" needed any sort of protection would have cracked him up. Protection from public exposure, perhaps, but not their morals.

At the same time, the town is apparently content to allow the activities at two businesses down Homestead Road where women and men get together every day and actually do what the videos at the Adult Superstore merely show, however graphically.

Well, at least so far no one is openly threatening to show up at Sheri's or the Chicken Ranch with containers of boiling oil and pikes.

(Is there anything in any ordinance that expresses concerns about the "morals of patrons of such establishments"? At one more or less public function last spring, those munching hot dogs and hamburgers were treated to a display of female toplessness involving much fondling and fooling around, but at least no one tried to make it sound morally good for you.)

The basic question remains: Can a town that allows prostitution at the same time put a damper on a place that sells raunchy videos? Can it honestly assume the sort of thing that happens at its legal brothels and then object to what might occur at the Adult Superstore?

And the answer is: Only as long as it prefers to phony things up and pretend that what happens down the road really doesn't happen down the road.

Honest, people aren't really doing it here ... wink wink, nudge nudge.

That is about as spurious as buying "Playboy" and explaining that one only pays attention to the articles. Institutionally, that is what happens every day here in Pahrump.

Denying that is like trying to stop up ratholes by plugging them with moonbeams.

But that won't stop people from trying.