MARSHA GOLDSTEIN Life Matters Advertisement

Why do some relationships endure and others cease to be?

Here are some ways to prevent your relationship from becoming a statistic. Treat your partner as your best friend. Remember how you acted when you wanted to win your partner over?

Learn to express your thoughts carefully. Being in a relationship doesn't give anyone the right to be abusive or hurtful to their partner in anyway. It is also important to give compliments, praise, support and encouragement in appropriate situations. Everyone wants to know that they are valued and well thought of.

Don't assume that your partner knows how you feel or think about a particular situation. Everyone is entitled to their own opinion, and it should be respected even if it doesn't agree with yours. Keeping your own identity will keep the relationship fresh and alive. You're a movie buff while your partner enjoys the outdoors.

If you can compromise, that would be great. If not, enjoy your hobbies and then come together and share. The sharing time is vastly more important than doing something you really don't want to do. Honesty and respect are two monumental keys to a lasting relationship.

It is so important for a couple to laugh together or even get silly together. Laughter has so many positive effects and with a couple it's multiplied by two.

Try not to get into a rut. As adults, we all know that certain things need to be done. However, try to change your routine even in little ways and be spontaneous.

For example, skip watching television one evening and play a board game. Or you might discuss what you heard on the news or read in the newspaper. Maybe at the last minute, you might decide to get together with friends to catch up over a cup of coffee. Shake it up a bit.

Don't leave your manners at the door when you arrive home. When you want something, say please. When your partner does something for you, say thank you. You do this in work place and with other people, so why not with your partner? It is the respectful thing to do and partners should be respectful to each other.

Wish each other a good day when one or both partners leave for work. Give each other a hug and kiss every morning. Not only does it feel good, it makes one feel loved. Upon returning at the end of the workday, inquire how the day went and make eye contact when inquiring. Don't ask if you are not ready to listen.

If you're multi-tasking, wait until you can give 100 percent attention to what your partner has to say. It is extremely annoying to talk and not be heard.

In addition, it is very important that partners listen to each other without interrupting, or finishing the other partner's sentence. Give your partner the courtesy to verbalize even though you may think you know what is going to be said and can wrap it up faster.

It is paramount that both partners understand the financial aspect of their relationship. It is true that in many cases one person pays the bills. However, the other partner needs to know their financial status. It is a good idea to have a financial meeting every so often to review and set financial goals. If things aren't going well, that's the time for partners to brainstorm and come up with tactics that will help the situation. Personal accusations or being judgmental won't relieve the situations. This has to be done as a team.

Ever watch a team sport? They're working together toward winning and they give it their very best shot. It's the same thing in a marriage or committed relationship. When a couple works together and positive change takes place, there are high-fives all around.

Unfortunately, many couples tend to become passive as a way to avoid conflict. Some couples maintain their vehicles better than they do their relationship. They know that if they don't, it will break down. It's the same with a relationship. Before your relationship breaks down, seek professional help to get it going on the right road.

Marsha Goldstein is a licensed clinical social worker, board certified diplomate in private practice in Pahrump. She can be reached at 775-751-9579.