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Headlines of recent weeks have been particularly disturbing for parents. Whether the school tragedies we read about are copycat situations or individual, unique circumstances makes little difference to a parent who drops her child off at school in the morning. Reading, seeing and hearing about school shootings is an epidemic that hits a little too close to home.

Over the years, I've discussed the topics of drugs, smoking, alcohol use and sex with my three boys. They are not comfortable discussing these topics, but I feel strongly about arming my children with knowledge.

On the way to school a few days ago, I had a conversation I never pictured in my parenting fantasies. My oldest son and I discussed what to do if he ever finds himself at the wrong place at the wrong time, in front of a distraught, armed and volatile person.

After my children were dropped off at their respective schools, I spent some time thinking about the world in which we live. I recalled someone asking me, when I was expecting my oldest child, why I'd want to bring a child into this world. At the time, I had the answer of a self-assured mother-to-be: "The world isn't going to raise my child -- I am."

It seemed a simple answer and a relatively easy task. I was going to be an involved, interactive parent. I was going to raise my children to be happy, productive, well-adjusted people.

But I did not fully understand in my naïve youth that the world in which I would raise my children would also have a profound impact on them. The world is a strong force that constantly influences and shapes us.

It took me time to learn that as a parent, it is my job to control how much and in what ways the world would influence and shape my children, to do my best to influence and shape my children from within our family, and to give my children the tools to influence and shape the world around them.

While parenting from this perspective seems a daunting task, there are a few key strategies Hubby and I use to reach our parenting goals and allay our fears as we send them into the world each day.

First, we do our best to eat together as a family. With our schedules, it may be difficult to accomplish the family meal every single day, but we make an extra effort to eat together several times a week. And we don't just eat. We talk, share, laugh and connect.

We have a couple of ground rules for the dinner table. No one is allowed to bring video games, the television must be turned off, everyone has to clear his own plate, and no one is allowed to sing. That last rule was made unanimously to ensure proper digestion.

Our Sunday brunch ritual is along those same lines. After mass, Hubby and I prepare a feast. We cover the table with bacon or sausage, biscuits, waffles or pancakes, eggs, juice, milk and coffee. Everyone hangs out in the kitchen for hours on end eating and talking. Sometimes friends join us on Sundays, and sometimes it's just us.

We also do our best to support each other. We encourage our children to get involved with things they like, such as sports, music and clubs. Then we volunteer to help, attend events, and cheer on our children.

Our children, in turn, support our endeavors, such as Hubby working on his degree at night and my writing. My three boys served the cake at my very first book-signing event. I will never forget how nervous my middle son was that evening. He asked me, "What will you do if no one shows up?"

I smiled and explained that it didn't matter if anyone showed up. The fact that I wanted to do the book and then actually did it was what made the night a success. Plus, if no one showed, we would get to eat all the cake. It truly was a win-win situation.

Hubby and I also do our best to lead by example. We appreciate people for who they are on the inside, and we've seen our children do the same. We own up to our mistakes and humbly accept the consequences. We expect our children to do the same.

The world can be a rough and harsh place. Everyday I pray with my boys and I tell them I love them as they head off to school.

Because while the world might be a scary place at times, every day we live in it is still a precious gift to be shared with those we love.

Micki Bare is a columnist for the Arkansas News Bureau and the Courier-Tribune in Asheboro, N.C., and author of the book, "Relative Expressions." She lives in Asheboro with her husband and three children. Her e-mail address is mickibare@earthlink.net.